Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Making time for the important stuff.....

Picture courtesy of flicker

I really didn't even know how to begin this post, so I have procrastinated long enough.

Where in the world is Sheila?

The last few weeks have been filled up with vacation, family emergencies, back to school in service and duties, add to this list getting 2 young adults ready for college!

The vacation with family was relaxing, fun and just good times.

Once we returned home, the dreaded return to work (school) sank in, I am not complaining, I truly loved having this summer off after working the last 2, but I always kinda dread the going back until I actually get there. I truly love working at schools and making a differences in the lives of children, but I also hate summer winding down and missing my own young adults that will not be returning to school (college) grind until end of August.

This year I faced a double whammy. Two, did I mention that I now have TWO in college. Tuition, book fees, and supplies!! What's a mom to do?? I am so very proud of both of my children and I truly enjoyed helping them get ready.

One of the things I did not enjoy about my summer and have not mentioned until now, is my Mom. She lives in Michigan and she has been living the last 8 years or so in a residential home setting and I have never worried once about her care and the love she has received.

Nothing last forever and as you age circumstances change and our bodies just can not continue to perform as they once did. My Mom's health has started to deteriorate and she finally just gave up on even trying to walk in July. With this new health problem among other minor ones, she would face having to go to a Nursing Home. The Residential home she had been living in was under strict condition that had to be followed. Did I mention she is in Michigan and I am in Tennessee. I am not complaining, I have been so blessed to have her good health and the wonderful help of the director of the home, who my mom thinks of as family. It's.....Just.......a Nursing Home.....it was so hard to accept. Along with the acceptance of your parent going into a Nursing Home permanently, you as the child have to look at the end results. I don't think we ever think about our parent's death. So included in the preparations for the move to the Nursing Home facility I was faced with thinking about and making preparations for that dreaded day in the future.
I haven't completely accepted the responsibility of this dreaded decision, but I am dealing with the move (that's what I have started calling it), and I sorta feel better knowing this was the only option I had. Now in the coming months I will take care of the details pertaining to the other things that go along with having an elderly parent. This is hard....and I don't know if you are ever truly ready to accept taking on these decisions. Although I do know I must handle these things and have everything worked out for my own sanity. If and when I get that dreaded call I want everything to be taken care of so I wont be making decision while in an emotional state.

So girlie's this is part of the reason I have just not totally been in the mood for blogging and decided to deal with life's unexpected circumstances.

I debated posting on this issue, but I felt if this could help someone else who may be going thought this, or someone (like me) who didn't think about it until it happened. It is worth sharing.

I don't want you to leave here thinking I am sad beyond belief. I am strong, my mother raised a girl who knew how to take charge and be the leader if necessary. I am the oldest in my family and I feel the need, along with the responsibility to do this.

My Mom is happy, and being well cared for, and she doesn't have a care in the world (that she is aware of.) This in itself should be comforting to me, it's just miles separate us and it is very hard to let someone else care for your loved one and lay your head down at night with no worries.

Now my unsolicited very inexperienced advice would be to love your parents, children, family and please don't ever take for granted the "Time" we have with them. I am learning it is going faster than I ever thought....


kari and kijsa said...

The best advice!! SO true-we are trying to follow that so well, especially now. Thank you for all your support and prayers!

kari & kijsa

terriblespeller said...

wow, Shelia, I know this is a tough time for you. I will keep you in my prayers.

Jillian, Inc. said...

Oh, I can only imagine how hard it must be for you regarding your mother. My mom is 81 and lives in Iowa and I'm in Atlanta. Thankfully I have a brother that's literally just around the corner from her, but he has his own family and such and if something happened where she needed round-the-clock care I just shudder about having to make that decision. I'll be praying for you dear one.

Paula said...

Sheila, You a truly a great Christain woman. I wish everyone in the world was as kind as you. Thank you so much for your kind comment. I have always said, I don't know how in the world my children turned out so good with the mother they have. TeeHee
In Christain love, Paula

justabeachkat said...

Hi sweet friend!

My Mom and Aunt were here for a week, but left yesterday morning, so I'm working hard to visit all of my blogging friends. It seems like forever since I've been able to visit.

I'm so sorry you've had a rough patch regarding your Mother. I'll pray for you and her.

BTW...I'm celebrating my blog's 3rd birthday! Amazing! Thanks for being such a sweet blogging friend!